youre lurking in front of me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize