dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
