Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
