...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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