making cat noises will not fix the situation.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
