im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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