I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
that is very illegal...i love you.
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