Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i need some magic done to my vagina
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
