I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
