I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize