Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
