when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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