I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
