Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
is it fun? or sober?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
