Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
