dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
As shirtless as possible
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
