I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
