Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
