At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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