My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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