i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize