it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
