omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
