Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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