I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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