Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
