we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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