Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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