Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
