I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
