What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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