Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize