we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
