I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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