What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
