Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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