apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize