I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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