He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
