i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
