Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
