She's JV to your varsity
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize