I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
