I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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