she woke up with a sticky ear
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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