I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
