Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The uberlube is also flammable
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I need water and some morals
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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