He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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