I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize