Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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