Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
