You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
