Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
