we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
and you fell through a lawn chair
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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