I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize