I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
