The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
