I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
