I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
