even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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