don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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