if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
