he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
