Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize