Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
