No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
