Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
